Owner Health: Just Another Manic Monday

I read a New York Times article[1] during the pandemic that summed up how I – and many others I talked to – have been feeling. The article identifies the feeling as languishing.

The Cambridge dictionary defines languishing as “to exist in an unpleasant or unwanted situation, often for a long time”, while Merriam-Webster defines it as “in a state of depression or decreasing vitality”. Either way, it sounds about right.

More and more of my conversations with business owners are touching on issues of mental health and a sense of decreasing vitality. We don’t have the energy or creativity or focus we used to have. We are not depressed; we are not hopeless. But we’re not flourishing either. The New York Times article says “Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work.”

Check. Check. Check.

As much as the vast majority of people may be languishing, business owners have additional pressures and therefore, additional potential for mental health issues.

The Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) recently released a study[2] based on a January 2019 survey of 476 entrepreneurs. The survey was to determine the mental health and well-being of Canadian entrepreneurs. In it, they say,

The idea that entrepreneurship is stressful is ubiquitous. Entrepreneurs are responsible for the survival, success and sustainability of their company. Consequently, they experience a unique set of stressors as compares to, for example, employees. These include risk-taking, income uncertainty, high work demands and the need to make frequent, consequential decisions.

 These stressors are all the more pressing because entrepreneurs rely almost exclusively on their own experience, skills and motivation to be successful.

 Existing research on the unique nature of entrepreneurship-related stress has found that money is the stressor most frequently reported by entrepreneurs…Subsequent studies identified additional stressors such as long hours, social isolation, travel requirements, pressure to perform and success, and tight deadlines. While these stressors may also be experienced by employees, they are experienced differently by entrepreneurs because owning a business is inextricably intertwined with the personal and social identity of the entrepreneur.

 The primary stressors reported by entrepreneurs were cash flow, high self-expectations, balance work and life responsibilities, finding the right talent, and decision-making.

I’m certain none of this comes as a surprise to you, so the question becomes, how do we deal with the pressures of business ownership and maintain our mental health?

We need to create or adjust our coping strategies to ensure we are able to maintain our mental health and consequently, the health of our business. The CMHA report indicated that, with regards to coping strategies at work, becoming more persistent was the number one strategy employed by entrepreneurs, followed by delegating tasks. It takes a strong person to start a business, and we need to be able to draw on that strength to keep going and persevere. At the same time, if there’s an option to delegate tasks to others, we need to recognize that and allow others to take some of the burden from us.

Here are some other practical suggestions for ways to ensure we’re taking care of our mental health:

• Get enough sleep. If you have a smart watch, it probably measures the amount and quality of sleep you’re getting. Take note of this. We cannot operate well without resting well.
• Turn off your phone. I know…it seems like an extreme measure, but there are many studies that link phone usage to mental health. Set hours for your phone usage and stick to them. Let your phone charge in a different room, or at least across the room from your bed. Turn off unnecessary notifications. And put the phone away a half hour before you go to bed.
• Open up. I’m probably speaking to a mostly male audience and this is a tough one. But the older I get, the more I realize that whatever I’m feeling, someone else has been there and gone through it. When I open up about the struggles I’m having, I’m so often surprised by the response I get, the encouragement I receive knowing someone else gets it, the relief I feel knowing I’m not crazy, and some helpful advice for moving forward. Find someone who you trust and let them know how you’re doing. Allow them to be a friend to you. You are not alone.
• Take time for yourself and your family. Acknowledge when you need a break and make that a priority. Last spring, I recognized that I was on the verge of burnout and needed to take a couple of days away for myself. A friend of ours generously let me use her cottage and I was able to spend three days resting, reading, walking and biking. When I returned, I was refreshed and excited to get back to work with a renewed passion and energy. I was also a much nicer person to be around at home. It’s was a win for everyone! And if you’re sensing that your family is needing you, then acknowledge it and do something about it. Take the kids away from school for a day and do something fun together. Have a movie marathon day, create a scavenger hunt for you to do together, go for a bike ride or a walk and have a picnic along the way. Show them that they are a priority.

The first step on the path to mental health is awareness and acknowledgement. So be aware of your mental state. Watch for stressors and pay attention to what your body is telling you about how well you’re coping with them. And then do something about it. The important thing is not what you do, but that you do something. Because even in our languishing, we are not helpless.

[1] Grant, Adam. “There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing”. The New York Times, April 19, 2021.

[2] Going It Alone: The mental health and well-being of Canada’s entrepreneurs. Canadian Mental Health Association, June 18, 2019.